Life without a Smart Phone

 

SmartPhoneLife

Lord Indra, the King of Gods, received the 2015 Earth Report. The focus of the Report was on how a human being on Earth typically spends time in a day. The Report showed that most of the time humans spent was for using a Smart Phone. The statistics showed that the number of Smart Phones on the Earth had reached a staggering figure of 7 billion and on an average humans spent nearly 5 hours a day on the Smart Phone. For 2016, the usage was expected to be even higher – reaching 7 hours on average each day.

“This is just crazy” Lord Indra said. “This is no life – and simply a waste of time! This was not something Gods intended”

BreakUpTimeSpent_Mobile

He called for an emergency meeting inviting the core committee consisting Lord Vishnu (God of Conservation and Protection), Lord Shiva (Lord of Destruction) and Lord Bramha (Lord of Creation).

Lord Shiva said that this problem can be easily solved by destroying the Smart Phones. “I will simply open my “third eye”” he said – and all the Smart Phones on the Earth will catch fire and get destroyed.

[Lord Shiva opens his “third eye” to destroy all that is unconscious, dark, and dualistic, in this dancing universe. Essentially, Lord Shiva’s third eye opens to end all illusions like the Smart Phones!}

Lord Vishnu said “But this is not the solution – The Smart Phone makers will make new phones in no time and give a replacement at a competitive price so as to grab the new market of 7 billion mobiles. And don’t forget that the pollution generated by putting 7 billion Smart Phones on fire. Each mobile phone is like a mine of metals and so there will be release of at least 10 million tonnes of hazardous metals to the environment. Very few mobile phone users know that.”

Lord Brahma said that he has been observing the increase in the use of Smart Phones over the past few years with a great concern. “Use of Smart Phones has major health impact due to the radiations. Usage in a day over 2 hours can cause headaches and Alzheimer’s disease.”

Lord Yama (God of Death and Lord Brahma’s son) was taking notes of the meeting. He said that according to a Swedish research which is published on International Archives of Occupational and Environmental Health Journal, people who use mobile phone about an hour per day in ten years will be affected by brain tumor. There is an American researcher, who states that using mobile phone is a cause of cancers. Very few Smart Phone users know that”

Lord Indra – The King of Gods – immediately summoned Lord Yama to initiate a questionnaire to understand cause of death of every arriving soul focusing on the lifestyles. The questionnaire you earlier used for smoking of cigarettes should work, as usage of Smart Phone is like an addiction and it seems to have similar order of impacts”

“But Lord Vishnu, what is the solution?” Lord Indra was getting impatient.

Lord Vishnu had another point of view. He said “As a first step, let us realize why humans on the Earth have started increasing usage of the Smart Phones. Smart Phones are today so effective that they have replaced basic gadgets like alarm clocks and now even the high end digital cameras. Smart Phone is clearly disruptive technology. And it’s not just the hardware, but the “software” or the Apps that have made the real difference! Everyone is hooked on the social platforms like LinkedIn and Face Book (FB) that provide a new digital identity, flood megabytes of news and pictures (whether wanted or otherwise)”

“Every day new invitations keep pouring in and the statistics shows that on an average a FB member on the Earth has 338 connections. And don’t forget the “dating” related mobile applications where most teenagers are spending time. So all we need to do is bring in a behavior change

Mobile_in_Traffic

“My suggestion is to attempt a Pilot. Why don’t we pick up say five people on the Earth and “vanish” their mobile phones with our divine power for a week and see how they live life without a Smart Phone? We will ensure that any mobile phone that they will attempt to touch, will also “vanish” in the air. Basically, they will be devoid of a Smart Phone over a week. We will meet after a week to take a review of the Pilot study. Lord Shiva – please take responsibility of this operation Vanish” “

Lord Vishnu was always known to come up with clever ideas. So the Committee agreed to his suggestion.

“Who should be the five people?” Lord Shiva asked.

Lord Brahma recommended some interesting names.

At sharp 8 15 am, Mr. Mukesh Ambani of Reliance got into his BMW 760li. He took out his Smart Phone to make important calls as he would speak in peace and in all privacy. These calls or instructions would decide the business in India and for that matter of the world. But today the moment he touched his Smart Phone, it simply disappeared. He was shocked. He had three spare mobiles in his car, but each mobile he touched, the mobiles vanished. In desperation, he asked his driver to lend him his mobile, and that faced the same fate too.

Mr. Ambani did not know what to do how to spend next 30 minutes in the Car. He looked outside the window to see the slums and poverty in Mumbai. He was aghast as he never looked outside and used to look only at his Smart Phone’s screen. He then looked at the photos of his three children Akash, Isha and Anant that he carried in his wallet. “Oh there is so much to do for this City” he said and then ended with a sigh “I really don’t connect much with my children. I must spend quality time with them as a family”. He decided to keep off use of Smart Phone for “some while”. “Smart phones absence is making me think differently” – he muttered to himself.

A Young Collegiate, Sunny was to date with Julie at Café Mondiger at Colaba at 6 pm. This was to be their second meeting after a brief encounter at a party in Bandra. Sunny was riding the A/C Bus from Malad. The traffic was crazy and Sunny was getting late – as much by 30 minutes.

He picked up his Smart Phone to “text” Julie and let her know the delay. As soon as he touched his Smart Phone, the phone vanished – courtesy the powers of Lord Shiva. “Shit, what’s happening?” Sunny exclaimed. He searched for the Phone in his bag pack. There was no trace.

In desperation, Sunny requested his neighbor in the Bus for his phone explaining the “emergency”. The neighbor, who was a kind retired person, lent his Smart Phone. But as soon as Sunny touched his Phone, it disappeared too! And that led to a serious problem!! Sunny had to not just apologize profusely but give the Gentleman his contact address, deposit his college ID card and driving license with a promise that he will compensate or return the Smart Phone, the very next day. The old man who was earlier kind, was raged as his Smart Phone had photographs of his 50 years of wedding anniversary. “How do I get these?” He was in tears. Smart Phones have become now places to store the memories..

Sunny reached Café Mondegar by 6 45 pm, forty five minutes late than the dating appointment. He knew that Julie won’t be around. There was no way any girl would wait – with no SMS to her from his side. As he entered Café Mondegar however, he found Julie siting at one of the round tables. She was wearing a white shirt with an embroidery and a dark skirt and sitting crossed legged. “Oh Sunny, why so late? You must be stuck in the traffic” she said in an understanding tone “But I knew you would come and so I kept waiting”. While taking his seat at the round table, Sunny apologized profusely and then looked into Julie’s eyes. Her eyes showed the happiness, trust and an interest to go ahead.  “Oh indeed, there was no need for all that panic!” Sunny said to himself ordering a draft beer and Akuri. Not having the Smart Phone helped both Sunny and Julie to know that they really liked each other. They eventually married.

Deepika Padukone, the famous and one of my favorite actors, was in a shopping mall. She finished her shopping and took out her Smart Phone to call her driver to come at the Point of Exit. And the Smart Phone disappeared! “Oh I must have left the Phone in the Car – Lately I have really become so absent minded” She said to herself. She then approached the information desk for help. The lady at the information desk dialed her driver’s number (and several times) but the response she got was “out of reach”

“This happens when cars are parked in the last basement” The lady was apologetic “I am sending one of my boys right way to the basement to fetch your car”. After all the lady knew that she was talking to Actor Deepika Padukone. In order to keep Deepika busy and entertained for a while, the Lady asked Deepika whether she would be interested to take a look at a small exhibition area set up by the Mall to display products made out of waste materials and crafted by poor women. Deepika went across to see. Being herself a committed person for the good of the society, she was really overwhelmed as well as inspired. Two weeks later, she announced a program to encourage such initiatives in Bangalore and chose to become an Ambassador. “Losing my Smart Phone the other day – showed me a new opportunity” she said in a Press Interview.

There we two more individuals that were tracked by Lord Indra. They included Politician Subramanian Swami (who really didn’t know what to do in life in the absence of a Smart Phone) and a Share Broker in Bombay Stock Exchange (who thought of committing suicide when his Smart Phone vanished)

The Committee of Lords met after a week for review of the Pilot experience.

“So life without Smart Phones seems to be a good idea – despite its advantages” said Lord Vishnu. Both Lord Shiva and Lord Brahma seemed to be in agreement. To come to an acceptable conclusion and follow up action however, the Committee decided to do a Godly Consultation (means Public Consultation in the “Earth” sense!).

Around 100 Gods and equivalent attended. Several ideas were proposed on how to discourage increasing use of Smart Phones and encourage people on the Earth to reduce time spent on mobiles. Some said that reduce life of the mobile batteries so that the talking time is restricted to only 1 hour a day. Some said that we should  ban certain mobile applications altogether to that people live life in “reality”, meet and talk to each other, don’t keep staring at the screen and get a disturbed sleep at night;  don’t over shop (i.e. consume for the sake of consumption). Some asked for withdrawal of What’s App where humans keep sending silly messages and pictures only for the sake of “digital identity” and because it’s free.

Muni Narad (son of Lord Brahma) came with an idea that we should simply make behavior of the Smart Phone apps completely unpredictable to unreliable. Imagine if you logged into your FB account and saw each time total strangers shown as your friends! Or when you log into LinkedIn and see somebody else’s profile instead of yours! What a crazy world it will be! Muni Narad had a devilish grin when he said this.

Lord Vishnu reacted negative. This is typical of Narad Muni he said. This recommendation will lead to the human kind to become lunatic, mentally depressed and completely dysfunctional.

[Narad Muni is the son of Brahma and a devotee of Lord Vishnu. He is known for gossiping and knows all the news from around the universe. He is also known for creating fights among people by spicing up the facts. Rather, Muni Narad is believed to be the first journalist on the Earth. It is said that he still guides the Indian Journalists!]

All this while, Lord Brahma was listening to all patiently. “I don’t have an immediate solution but something we could look at a long run. Given the addiction of the human kind for the Smart Phones, let me “engineer” in the Human Genes few innovative molecules that will build a Smart Phone capability in the body itself. Armed with this feature, humans of “future” will be able to “send SMS”, “make calls” or “go on FB” or “shop” by simply using mental powers. Two people at a thousand kilometer distance for instance can meditate a bit, close their eyes, and do a conversation without a Smart Phone. By introducing this change in the “human evolution”, we will address the health related issues of the Smart Phones as well that of the mounting E-Waste!”

“This is an excellent step for action. I congratulate you Lord Brahma” said Lord Vishnu. “Just copy part of the DNA structure we have. We all communicate with each other through our Mind Power– and without any of these Smart Phones for thousands of years – Isn’t it?” And I thought he was just right.

The Godly Consultation on Smart Phones ended with a Vote of Thanks


Cover image sourced from http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/digital-living/75959892/Life-without-a-smartphone-is-liberating


 

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